The Things I Would Change
There was a time that my life's work was to change who I was. To fix what was wrong. To be strong where I was weak. To replace sadness with happiness and tough times with ease. I thought it was wise...
View ArticleMy Sofa and the Valley of Decision
Again I'm irked. I am irked about a lot of things today. The dogs ate a hole in our den sofa. I don't blame the dogs, I blame my son who shoves crap he doesn't want to deal with into crack of the...
View ArticleHelp I Can't Turn My Mind Off...A Revisit
My brain never relaxes, it is always racing. I am always thinking DEEPLY about something, even if I have to make it up. Every night I lay my head on my pillow and my mind seems to say, "Let the wild...
View ArticleOn Grief - Notes to my Friend
I don't remember the writer's name**, but there is a line from a poem I have carried with me since I was a teenager.Grief, I wade pools of it. Today my friend's husband died.Not just any friend.My...
View ArticleI DID It!
This is the last day of BlogHer's NaBloPoMo and all I can say is...I DID IT!Well..sort of.I didn't post everyday.I wrote everyday, but for some posts I didn't have the heart to press 'publish'. Yes,...
View ArticleSpring Break...Yuck!
Would I be a terrible mom to admit that I really don't like Spring Break? The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to be home with my kids for 8 straight days. I mean I love them and all, but...
View ArticleWaiting for the Hiccup.
It's 3:52am and I am not asleep. I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep, my crazy tries to take over. Earlier, I was in the Target getting my kids last minute Easter stuff and someone called my name....
View Article10 Reasons Why I Know I am Better than I was Before
Or Why I Lay in the Grass on a Windless DayImage Courtesy of Mark A. Hicks, of Discovery Education1. I get out of bed everyday.2. I am writing semi- consistently.3. I don't beat myself up as much and I...
View ArticleEating Standing Up. Spinning My Wheels.
Just Spinning my WheelsI eat standing up. Or lying in my bed. I know, I know it's terrible. I work from home, so I am one of those folks that don't eat much during the day and then pig out later....
View ArticleHomesick
I hurt myself Saturday at my shop. Picking up cinderblocks. My back is aching from my ribs to my neck. But more so I think my soul hurts a little. I'm no longer sure of what I am doing here. I...
View ArticleRemembering to Remember
I have a terrible memory. Particularly when it comes to things I need to do like return library books, schedule parent teacher's appointments and pressing publish when writing blogs.But I have a damn...
View ArticleEhh, What was I Supposed to Be Doing?
I picked the worst month to do NabloPoMo. It's all about memory and memories. And like I said yesterday, my memory for the most part sucks. I know why...there are too many things to do in not enough...
View ArticleYes I am Good at Remembering Facts. When I Don't Suck at It.
Am I good at languages or memorizing facts you ask. The answer is...YesAnd No.I am good a memorizing that which interests me. I haven't tried a language in decades, although I want to learn to speak...
View ArticleI am that I am...
It was a hard year for me. But it was a hell of a good year.I grew.Recognizing that hard doesn't always mean bad and easy doesn't always mean good.The hardness that presented itself in 2014 enabled me...
View ArticleI'm Sorry - She did What?
"What did you leave Noelle?" I asked quickly glancing at her out of the corner of my eye while backing up our white whale of a mini-van. "The green bag on the credenza." she stated frantically. "I...
View ArticleI Wish Someone Saw - Missing the Support I Didn't Know I Needed - Nablopomo
I was about 7 years old the first time I contemplated killing myself. Suicide wasn't in my vocabulary then and although my memory is vague, I do remember being in the basement of the house I grew up...
View ArticleThe Practical Ways I Fight Off Depression
I have written a great deal about my fight with depression and some of the more challenging and painful times in my life. I have shared my thinking, my revelations, my failures - my journey to good...
View ArticleGrieving the Loss of Something that Still Lives
Grief is weird. Even years after the loss of someone you love, it will rise up and punch you in the face for no apparent reason. One early morning, about 3:00am, I woke up from a dream about my...
View ArticleBackyard Camp Out and my Beautiful Pinterest Fail
Noelle's Photo of our Abandoned TentI didn't sleep last night. At all. I spent the night in a cheap, ebay pop-up tent laying on a multitude of blankets and comforters in an attempt to soften the...
View ArticleGetting My Chops Back - Guest Blog on Jingle Jankle Jungle
Hey my good peeps. Please stop by Mary Burris' Jungle Jangle Jungle where I am a guest blogger. I share my story of getting my chops back! I started singing out...
View ArticleFriends with Ella? Absolutely.
A good friend gave me a journal with writing prompts. It is called "Writing Prompts for the Creative Scribe". I took it as a sign not to give up writing which I have been seriously contemplating. It...
View ArticleLauren's Dress: Reflections on Motherhood and Loss
Those who don't know, I lost a daughter. Today's BlogHer writing prompt compelled me to pull out the little dress Lauren wore when they brought her to the my hospital room after delivery. Whenever I...
View ArticleToday I Hate...
Today I hate that I am going to be 49 years old on my next birthday. I would rather be 35. Today I hate that there are specific areas in my life where I still worry about what people think. Today I...
View ArticleMy Daughter: The Sunshine to my Moonlight
My daughter is as bubbly as fresh ginger ale. Her resting face is a smile. Her goal on any given day is to make everybody laugh and smile. She gains energy from people the way Superman is...
View ArticleMy Favorite Pair of Jeans Silenced a Big Bully
I bought my favorite pair of jeans with a Groupon for $11.They are called Sessos.The denim probably isn't denim at all.I pray they were not fashioned by the hands of small children somewhere far, far...
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